To Hooah or not?

My head is spinning right now as if I've been sitting in a whole meadow of flowers picking off all the petals alternating between to love and not to love. Except this is much more complex. My wonderful husband (and I) has been debating between going active duty (AD) Army and staying with his newly acquired permanent position at Avista Utilities.


To some who are not familiar with the military way of life this may not seem like a big deal. The reality is that if he goes AD, it will permanently alter our lives. The Army will send us wherever they deem necessary. This could be Tacoma, WA or it could be Germany. We won't know where until 3-4 weeks prior to having to be there. The rewards are great though. Both Paul and I are very patriotic and love serving our country. I like to joke that I live vicariously through him since I am no longer in the military myself. I remember the lifestyle of being in the military and have always missed it. It's very difficult to explain to those who have never lived it. However, there are some drawbacks too. We will have to take a cut in pay of $200/month initially. While promotion is expected quickly, it will be difficult at first. And that's assuming that our house sells quickly. Did I happen to mention that we would need to put about $4K into the house to even put it on the market? The kids will have to switch schools every few years resulting from moving to a completely new place which means new friends, adjustments, etc. My ex-husband has decided that this is one thing he will get involved with for the older two. Nevermind he never shows up for any special events or sports games or parent/teacher conferences and blames me that he is $40k behind in child support because I am so stubborn. It couldn't be because he refuses to work legally and pay taxes and child support. In addition to all of the above, we lost a very important member of our family a little over a year ago and chose to have a memorial for our precious baby "Bug" out in the backyard. That seems to be anchoring us here more than we ever expected.


Avista is a great company with excellent pay and bennies. It's the type of place that people work 30 years at before retiring. The potential for raises is high. Within a few years he will be making about $20k/yr more than he made at CenturyTel. As a result of interviews yesterday, he was informed he was one of 3 guys hired (out of 6 interviewed) for the permanent position of "apprentice". I say that because he technically is a journeyman in his career, but has never had official training. This was after he beat out over 100 applicants in the first place for his current 6 month temporary position. I also have to mention that he is the only person hired for either position, temporary or permanent, who does not have a college degree. That is an amazing accomplishment and is a testament to his knowledge and work ethic. The problem with this job is that it has the potential to anchor Paul to a desk on a computer much of the time which is akin to a lion in a cage. I can't see him working 20 years doing something that crushes his spirit day in and day out.


I should also mention that Paul's boss at Avista is the commander of a sister National Guard unit here and has told him that he will find a way to get Paul out of his Army commitment if that's what Paul wants. Yesterday he told him that he would pull him into his unit right now if it would help. Technically he is owned by the Air Guard until the day he gets on the plane headed for Army training. He has made it very clear that while he supports Paul's desire to serve his country, he hopes he will change his mind. Paul has been really excited over his chosen Army job, and found out that there is a Army Guard unit with this job just over the border in Idaho. So maybe he could have the best of both worlds.


All of those petals have something attached with them. Too many details to get into, but yet each one significant in its own way. I am grateful that Paul values my feelings and opinions enough to discuss things with me. We talk almost daily about the two choices. On one hand he wants to follow his dreams and his heart and on the other he wants stability already in place. Those roots are fighting hard against being uprooted. He is worried that he will make the wrong decision. And we have both asked God to show us the right path. We felt it was the rugged and yet satisfying red, white and blue one, but now that he has been hired on as a permanent employee instead of a temporary one, those roots and related path have been watered and so the plush, green one is sounding more appealing. Thankfully a decision does not have to be made today. But with each tick of the clock, the time to decide draws closer.